We're All Mad Here
by alexandriak1124
Summary: When it comes to "skinny"... getting there can be deadly. Life is off it's wheels and as Lia unintentionally drags her sister onto the raging ride, the clock tells her it's all too late. Lia feels crazy, but it doesn't matter. We're all mad here.
1. Prologue

_Note : This is a small prologue. My copy of Wintergirls happens to be missing so some details might be off. This story has no time line. It's kind of stuck in a middle and past of the book. I just roll with it(: -alexandria._

(00.01)

"I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had." - Mad World, Gary Jules.

After: No one writes the after. No one pulls out their dirty paper and broken pencils to tell you what happens to the people in the pages of happily ever afters. We've all gone mad. Jennifer and Dad ignore each other like they've forgotten who they married. My own mother has been distant, I forgot for a while what she's like. When I remember I'm glad for the space. Emma refuses to eat, _and so do I_.

..I'm knitting broken dreams..


	2. Broken

(00.02)

"Emma, eat!" Jennifer shouts from downstairs. My stepsister hasn't ate since breakfast...yesterday.

"If Lia doesn't have to eat neither do I!" A fourth grader just broke me.

I close my bedroom door. Pushing a box of all the things I'm trying to forget against the opening that Cassie comes through each night. I still haven't unpacked. ..._when I was a real girl, I couldn't have lived without all the things in these boxes._ I close my eyes and find my way to my bed. I wander what it would be like to be blind. No to see pain, blood, fat clinging to your skin like a parasite. I wander if you could make yourself blind. I fall asleep to dreams of permanently closing my eyes.

*******

"Wake up Lia." the words spilling out leaving drops of lemon tea in the air. I sit up, stunned by the light. I'm not blind yet. Jennifer walks out leaving me in my room. The room feels like its a thousand degrees, I swing my legs over the bed.

"Oh, it's Tuesday." she says poking her head in the doorway. I'm frozen.

I jump out of bed and find my way across the room to the door. The yellow walls are giving me a migraine and the dust covering the boxes are a bacteria's heaven. When I'm in the laundry room I notice Emma watch as I tie my ten pound belt around my waist and pull my robe over it. Jennifer bought me a new robe because my yellow one ripped down the middle. This robe has more fabric around the waist but you can tell if there's quarters in the pockets. Jennifer thinks I'm stupid.

"What do I do?" I hear from the corner of the room.

Emma's shaking. "What?" I ask, confused.

"When mommy weighs me, how do I get fatter quick like you do?"

I almost bend over and cry. I've broken so many people.


	3. Frozen Glass

(00.03)

Wednesdays are the second worst of the week. I walk out the door and hear the most painful 7 words.

"Don't forget, tonight's Family Dinner Night!" Jennifer yells from the kitchen, her plastered smile immediately entering my head. Oh what fun.

The engine scares me back to life when I slip into my car. I'm driving away as Emma pushes back the living room curtains, placing her open palm against the frozen glass.

I slam the gas. She's staying home sick today. Jennifer got her an appointment with a doctor. Emma said she doesn't want to go to a doctor, since she doesn't have a cough or a runny nose. Jennifer explained it's not that kind of doctor.

When you leave ten minutes late for school the traffic is nonexistent. I convinced Dad and Jennifer to write a note so I'll always be twenty minutes late to home room that way the possibility of a wreck. After a while they agreed. I looked in the rear view mirror just to check, there were no cars. I noticed though, my bright blue eyes have faded to a ugly gray. I wander if you can cry away the pigment.

I'm stuck in my head when I pull into the last parking spot left at school and check my clock. I had 5 minutes before I was expected in homeroom.

As if it mattered, I put my hand palm face out against my frozen car window and stared into the empty road. I leaned against the door and lost the pigment in my eyes for Emma.

Still, I can't bear the thought of going home.


	4. Perfect?

(00.04)

Three words will be the death of me.

Family Dinner Night.

Somehow, I drag my way through school. It's unreal how easily you can slip into shadows. Fade into a hallway of crowded faces. Ease through life with lips stitched shut. Silence is something more people should try... especially Jennifer. I walk through the door and sneak expertly up the stairs. I can hear her on the phone.

_"Well the doctor said that Emma was following right after Lia... want her out of the house... didn't think my daughter could ever... no we love Lia... she's just become..."_ It only takes me a few seconds to register the bits of conversation.

I shut the door of my room. I strip off my tennis shoes and trade my jeans for baggy sweatpants. I hear Emma knock on my door. I turn up music on my radio and leave my door locked. I'm an awful sister.

When I step on my scale, it tells me I've been good. It tells me soon I'll be pretty. Soon I'll be perfect. I'll be floating. Flying. I lost two pounds in one week.

I smile.

It hurts.


End file.
